she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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