I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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