I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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