You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize