Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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