the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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