You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize