went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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