It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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