I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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