i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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