Cold hands, warm shart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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