it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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