Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
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Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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