I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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