dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
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$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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