Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize