forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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