Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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