I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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