he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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