that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize