it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize