Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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