she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
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