I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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