I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize