well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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