I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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