Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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