My brain says no but my pants say off.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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