Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize