So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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