So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize