Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
im on a boat
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