So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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