Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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