At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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