he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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