somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
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I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
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