I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize