she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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