Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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