a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i drank out of a bidet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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