I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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