What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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