If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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