Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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