found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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