So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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